Karl Jung, King Lear, Mrs. Job, Mrs. Chapman, and the California fire

I'm starting over again on this one. Lost my first try. And wouldn't you know it, 'cause that's basically my theme. Jung's "opposites." I'm sure it's not the way he would say it, but every once in a while I/we just have to yield to the opposite. Lately, that's what's been going on for me. I just want to retreat into passively reading and pull away from all that socially conscious activity. Oh, I can't really do that, and I have been following through on things that have already captured me. There's doing my share to get the write-a-thon going at church for Amnesty International, and a bit of follow through on our intention to establish some kind of restorative justice program at the Presbyterian church up the street from me. And meetings with students whose theses I'm advising.

Of course, I can't leave Mrs. Job behind.  Right now (for a price) someone at iUniverse is examining her carefully to be sure she conforms to Chicago style. Next (for a fee) someone else will proofread her. I don't know how long it will take before I get feedback on that. Something in me -- perfectionism? the need to be right? -- had me going through her several times with a fine-toothed comb before sending her off on that next adventure. Not too bright, huh? I suppose it's like cleaning the house before the cleaning crew comes to be sure they don't find too much dirt, hoping, on the other hand, that they'll find something, so the money isn't paid out in vain. The next phase will be covers, front and back, and marketing. I've collected some really nice blurbs for that back cover. When will she be available for purchase? I don't know. Next time I'll be more knowledgeable about the process.

And why mention King Lear? Back when I was a Sophomore at Connecticut College (for Women, way back then) I got a B+ on my King Lear paper in the Shakespeare course, with the suggestion that I should become a Psychology major. I've never been sure whether that was a subtle put-down, but whatever, a psychologist I am and have been. But now, in pulling back, I've tried to act out the dream of sitting in a comfortable chair, reading for the fun of it. Of course, the first thing I do is fall asleep, but waking I have been doing some reading. I've have found that I can use Amazon.com's wish list to keep track of what I'm interested in getting to, and it does pay off for them, as in the gift certificate I got for my birthday. So, of the three I received recently, the first I opened was Paul Brians' Common Errors in English Usage. Amazingly, I didn't fall asleep. Instead, I spent an hour reading through from "a" through "d" of what is intended to be a reference book.  I guess that's what happens when you've been raised in a family where dinner table conversation was about the use of language (along with some religion and a smattering of politics.) So, I'm thinking. maybe I am at heart an English major. But then I started in on Foster's How to Read Novels Like a Professor, and found myself reading only the first sentence of each paragraph. So much for being mis-directed by my Shakespeare teacher.

About Mrs. Chapman? -- My landlady when I taught at the University of Vermont and dated Lou. In fact, she was one of the three non-family members at our little wedding. Somehow I thought she would go on forever being my Vermont friend, but on October 23 she died at home at the age of 100 after a brief illness of three weeks. I miss her. 

Life is a journey, and I feel a little sad about the fact that my parents will never get to see the DVD my son-in-law is putting together of photos from the 1955 trip I took with them to Sweden and Denmark, complete with reading from my mother's diary. Sometimes I wish I believed they were still watching my life here.

And the California fires? I'm happy to say that my friend in Santa Barbara escaped damage to her home, though it hit pretty close to her.

Oh yes, How is it that I have this time to retreat from the world? It turns out that one of the first places people save money when there's a downturn in the economy is on "luxuries" like visits to a psychologist. Here's where one of Lou's sayings comes into play. "Turn a Defeat into a Victory." And so, I'll enjoy this down time before the holidays arrive.

A Wave of Calm

Tomorrow is the day. You who know me well are aware that I've been pretty neurotic about this whole thing. I don't know when anything has seemed more important to me than this election. I really believe it is a major determinant of our nation's direction. But today, listening in the car to the CD of Friedmans "Hot, Flat, and Crowded," I realized that the direction for the future is inevitable no matter who's elected. In focusing on reducing our addiction to oil - which we have no choice but to do -  we'll be tapping into all the other important issues: climate change, rational foreign relations, potential for peaceful solutions, economic growth and justice, poverty reduction, and even women's protection. Did I miss anything?

And listening to discussions on public radio, it seems clear that real gaps in our education system have been revealed in the work-up to these elections. I mean -- real gaps, not just passing standardized tests. Out of that recognition I hope there will come some real solutions. I think of my brilliant CC classmates who couldn't share their knowledge in the public schools because they hadn't taken "methods" courses. People like them could contribute so much! I know, 'cause I remember finding excitement in American History sitting in the sand at Ocean Beach learning from my friend Justine. And when it comes to college, call me old fashioned, but I powerlessly rebelled during my teaching career as the curriculum moved away from basics during the first two years and into premature (I thought) commitment to a major. Oh,oh. I could go on...

There's more on the positive side: what excitement this campaign period has engendered!  It's been awful, but the excitement and commitment in itself is a blessing.

Oh, let's not forget Tina Fay. Think what it will do for Tina's career if Palin is elected. I'm glad for Tina, though, that she has so much talent, 'cause I'm not voting for her Palin future.

In the meantime, I'll keep plugging away at what I do. That includes scraping, scouring, and scrubbing at Lisa and Jan's lovely new/old home in Williamsburg, VA,  last week and getting Mrs. Job ready for the next round.

All in all, life is good. And thanks for all of you who continue to accept this blog from me.

But I am very sad that Obama's grandmother didn't survive to see the outcome of this election. Sometimes life has strange timing.

I'm excited about "Mrs. Job"

OK, I'm claiming bragging rights, but I'm flying high about the publisher's evaluation of Mrs. Job: "This is a wonderful and unique presentation that should find a strong audience.  This reviewer has never seen a work based on the perspective of Job's wife despite the myriad of studies completed on the life of Job. The way the author portrays her and Job in relation to her is fascinating and engaging." Oh, and there's more: "It's easy to feel an emotional connection to Dara and to Job; the author's professed love for both characters is evident and readers will share that feeling.  Overall the characters are wonderfully crafted and believable."

Please forgive me while I preen. (or is that reserved only for male birds.)

And speaking of forgiveness, I just got word of good stuff that came of someone's reading "Forgiving One Page at a Time." Real forgiveness followed as the person described "I got it. It's really down to earth and practical, and I got it."

OK. Now back to preparing for whatever comes of November 4.

6% for the governor

I finished my purchase and the salesperson added, "and 6% for the governor." How hard would it be to speak the truth: "6% for the health, safety, and well-being of our community?" Call me naive, but I wonder where the money to repair the collapsed 35W bridge or to prevent further collapse is supposed to come from? Or the money for the police and fire vehicles I hear regularly sirening their way north or south on highway 41 visible from my kitchen window. Or support of our schools which should be the best we can offer our children. Or keeping our land free of pollution. Or solutions to the problems of homelessness and starvation.

Maybe it's because I've been around so long, but I can remember when we pulled together as a community to make life better for all of us. Did it take the horror of WWII to do that, following up on the disaster of the "great" depression? Do we have some kind of objection to peaceful progress?

'Nuff said for today.

I'm excited about "Mrs. Job"

I found a clergy person willing to read my Mrs. Job manuscript. I admit, I was excited and scared. After all, she is steeped in Biblical history. She could have nicely told me that I had strayed too far from the Biblical source, or from the reality of life in the desert, or that the writing was dull. Instead, she called to tell me that she didn't just like it; she loved it. She said more good stuff, but I don't know that it's appropriate to repeat that until she puts it in writing herself. She said she'll write a blurb for me for the back cover. 

Based on a recent e-mail, I should soon be receiving the editorial evaluation from iUniverse, the publisher. That might turn out to be a downer. Who knows? But for now I'm going to bask in the pleasure.

Thinking About the Day of my Birth

OK. I can't pass myself off as 65 any more. (As if I ever could once I passed 66) But I feel an intense need to be open about my birthday coming up on October 28. Among other things, I find myself thinking a lot about my mother as an intensely pregnant woman anxious to get me out into the world. My big sister points out that Mother was carrying me in an optimistic time. The family's new home in Forestville, Connecticut, was being completed and would be ready to occupy a month after my birth. The headlines in the New York Herald Tribune were: "Briand Takes Post As Socialists Join Radical in Cabinet. (That was referring to French politics); "Connecticut Tariff Lobby Called Greedy;" "Scientist Checks Cancer Cells After Growth in Living Tissues;" "Coudert Puts 337 Murders Up to Banton: 190 Slayings Last Year Without Penalty in Manhattan Alone, Says opponent of Justice Grain;" "LaGuardia Trend Spurs Republican Final-Week Drive." Oh, and by the way, a lesser headline was, "Mussolini Calls Fascism Perfect at Celebration."

The next day, October 29, 1929, the major headline was "Stocks Decline Heavily, Erasing All Year's Gains; Buying Near, Say Banks." And then the sub-headlines, "Market Support Ready, Bankers' Meeting Hears," and under that, "Heavy Purchasing by Investment Trusts Expected to Stabilize Stock Values Is View of Spokesman After Session in Morgan Office."

Been there? Done that? It's feeling almost spooky.

Friends and the Bright Shadow

I have just had such a wonderful conversation with my friend Edie Crawford in Connecticut that my thoughts are tumbling all over themselves. Edie is the kind of friend who looks at her phone ID and answers with a hearty "Mona , my dear." Now mind you, it's been two or three years since we last talked, but it might have been yesterday. I called with a question about the Shadow as it relates to the current election process, and ended up with wonderful insights into therapy, and just plain living. Edie is my Jungian guru, but she says she's moved on to an appreciation of Behavior Therapy. 

Here's the wonderful new emphasis she shared -- the "Bright Shadow." I love it, because it legitimizes my focus on reaching for the positive in every client. The Shadow, if you've forgotten, is that unconscious collection of stuff we don't want to admit into consciousness. Traditionally we tend to think of it as evil or, for some, the metaphorical devil. The typical therapy of the past, Edie points out, has tended to strengthen that negative side as people are encouraged to keep reaching for and talking about what has gone wrong in their lives, so often developing the witch side of mothers, and/or the negativity of fathers.

But, she suggests, for many, if not most, of us, what we've submerged is our positive side -- the positive Shadow -- the "Bright Shadow." (I can't help being aware specifically of my own Swedish Lutheran background which discourages "bragging about" the good in ourselves and encourages the admission of sin.) Traditional therapy has not only discouraged the emergence of the "Bright Shadow," but has actually empowered the forces that repress it. Here's where appreciation of the behaviorist approach comes in. What we've been doing is building up the part of the brain that supports the negative view of ourselves and our lives. To put it differently, we've been encouraged to conserve and strengthen our old fashioned brain waves. The key then, becomes helping to remove the blockages that prevent seeing our positives. Edie says she has become very straightforward about that. Just realize when you start going over what you regret doing, or the pain that's been inflicted by others, that you are strengthening a part of yourself that you'd do better to weaken. 

Edie pointed out the connection of the "Bright Shadow" to my forgiveness work. Especially when it comes to self-forgiveness, be aware that on the other side of regret is its opposite, optimistic hope. That seems to me to be a key, just to know that the opposite of regret is there for you to draw on, and you'll make the job easier by making the effort to stop rehearsing the negative. Edie and I have both been through divorce, so she referred to the tendency which we shared, at one point, to suddenly think, as we went through our day, "What did I do wrong that I didn't save the marriage?" or the tendency as parents to think "What damage did I cause my children with the way I parented them?" Stop and take yourself to the positive side -- the good times, the good things you tried, the good efforts you made.

OK. Just a sampler. We can certainly do this as we look at other people who distress and annoy us -- maybe especially during this pre-election time. What is the good side? ( Polyanna? I never did understand why people were so opposed to her. )