RETREAT
This is a potpourri of things I’ve been storing up. Earlier this week, after a therapeutic conversation with my granddaughter, KJ Neun, I decided to take Thursday and Friday of this week as retreat-at-home days, letting friends know that I would be accepting no calls or interruptions. It was such a great thing to do that I’m planning a repeat next Thursday and Friday. It’s amazing what one can accomplish going from one thing to another with time completely under one’s control. I still don’t have my tax information gathered together, nor have I begun “Riding in the Back Seat,” but I can see my way clear. In fact, I can see the surface of my desks. I recommend it. Well, maybe it’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but it was what I needed right now.
MOURNING THE LOSS OF A FRIEND
I did take a call from my college roommate, though, and received the very sad news that one of the husbands in our college friends group died earlier this week. Hale and hearty, he went to the hospital three weeks ago with a mysterious blockage in the abdomen. And now he’s gone. Bob Christensen was one of those men who make one sort of tingle with delight. He had such a subtle sense of humor, sometimes evoking deep belly laughter. He and his wife Rennie were such a loving and caring couple. It was they who arranged our occasional mini-reunions at Craigville on Cape Cod. When I was on the east coast at holiday time, I got to enjoy New Year’s Eve with them and the other east-coasters. It was through Bob that I learned two things: (1) how vicious can be the treatment of a company’s most successful (highly paid) salesman when there is the decision to downsize, and (2) how a cool, calm, collected person turns a defeat into a victory. Bob went straight to the library and took out some books: “What Color is Your Parachute,” and a bunch of books on wood stoves, just ‘cause he was interested. His children are still running his very successful wood stove business. I’m having trouble writing this with tears in my eyes. We will miss him.
THE END OF AN ERA
Bob’s passing is the end of an era, and suddenly what started as a casual little fun booklet I was putting together after our last stay at Craigville has become a kind of testimonial to the joys of our retreats there. For the CCers who may be reading this, it will take time, but it will be coming. I’ve enlisted the aid of someone with a more appropriate Word program than mine. And she’s more talented too.
WARNING
The things I learn from working with clients! Maybe you knew this, but before you let someone move in with you, it would be smart to check local laws. When I read a recent article in the Psychotherapy Networker about adult children moving back home, they recommended telling them to leave if the situation became intolerable. (not, but the way, what they felt was the common situation.) A similar thing happened to a client of mine who let her adult offspring move in – with dog – and found her new home being trashed. But here’s the deal. She can’t just tell the person to get out. I’ve checked this with the local Sheriff who tells me similar laws exist almost everywhere. The law is that you cannot force someone to leave who has used your mailing address as his or her residence for a week. (Probably this varies in different venues.) My client has had to fill out a long form, paying a fee of – if I heard it correctly -- $320 for processing. Now she has to wait 30 days for a judge to decide whether to evict the person. One certainly hopes that not every kind person would be trapped in such a situation, but I think it’s a good idea to be aware.
And so ends my potpourri, with a final farewell to Bob Christensen.
