Tuesday, January 17, 2012

MRS. JOB AS HERO, AND FORGIVENESS


This past Sunday we watched a DVD in the series of interviews Bill Moyer did with Joseph Campbell. Even as I watched what seemed like a discussion between ego and the collective unconscious I realized that Mrs. Job qualifies as a hero.

At that same gathering, another person told me he’d been re-reading my forgiveness books, finding things he didn’t notice the first time through. Of course I was thrilled that he was going through the forgiveness materials again, and it pointed out to me how much our readiness influences what we take in and use.

And that takes me to Mrs. Job’s cover. If I wanted to, I could see the responses falling in two categories – those that are ego oriented, i.e., what would best sell the book, and those that more subtly tap into unconscious emotional response. Since my question was really an ego one, I looked for guides to sales. But even there, the more non-ego responses seemed helpful.

OK. Let me get specific. Most everyone who responded said they liked the Mrs. Job cover as it is, citing especially its serenity and symbolism. At the same time, they seemed to agree that a sexier cover might sell better. Very few said they liked my suggestions for change of title, though it was thought that sales might be better if I were to use “Mrs. Job’s Journey,” suggesting mystery and intrigue. One person wondered whether she would have been “Mrs. Job” in her day and suggested “Job’s Wife.” I have to admit I wish I had realized how the mispronunciation of “Job” would have affected people’s interpretation of the title.  “Job’s Wife” would have encouraged a more correct pronunciation, I think.

So, where has this left me? Very grateful for the responses I received, and still wondering what to do. I admit it doesn’t seem worth it to put more money into the project at this point. But please keep thinking for me and letting me know the result. 

Friday, January 13, 2012


MRS. JOB NEEDS HELP           

I’ve talked before about the five reasons why Mrs. Job doesn’t sell. (See my website http://forgivenessoptions.com/content/9/mrs-job )

Now I plan to do something about it. And here’s where I need help. Please give me your opinion, either here or on my website or by e-mail. What I’m looking for is a way to make it reach out to more people, so whether you’ve read it or not (and I won’t ask … ) I want to hear from you.  Here’s what I plan to do on the cover to make it clearer and more appealing.

(1) I made the mistake of leaving the Ph.D. after my name so people think it’s a heavy academic tome – or maybe a self-help book. It’s not. It’s a love story. SOLUTION: I’ll remove the Ph.D from after my name.
(2) People think it’s a religious treatise because it’s about biblical Job. It’s not a treatise. Yes, it is true to the events that happened to him in the biblical story, but it’s fiction built around those events.
(3) Some people think it’s a “liberal” tome, calling into question some biblical beliefs. It’s not. See (2) above
POTENTIAL SOLUTONS: I’ll change the name to counteract the assumptions in (2) and (3) above. I’ve had a few ideas. My first was to change it to “Mrs. Job: A Love Story.” A member of my writer’s group suggested “Mrs. Job’s Journey,” even as they expressed the opinion that it should have a colon and something after it. My daughter said I shouldn’t put either of those out there so people could come up with their own original ideas, but I decided to give you a sense of the kind of thing I’m looking for. PLEASE HELP WITH OPINIONS or SUGGESTIONS, I’ll repay you with gratitude and appreciation.
(4) Many apparently think it’s about working people, or maybe the wife of Steve Jobs, because they don’t pronounce “Job” right. SOLUTION: I don’t know. Maybe changing the title will help overcome that, or maybe a line above the “o,” alerting people that it’s a long “o.” SUGGESTIONS?
(5) There are those who don’t buy it because they already have, and liked it so much they’ve been lending it to their friends. And that’s why their friends don’t buy it. NO SOLUTIONS NEEDED. I think that’s a fine reason.

I INTEND ALSO TO CHANGE THE COVER. I know at least two people who love the cover, one of whom says it won’t, however, sell the book, even though she loves it. I think first off a lighter background will help, and I have a few ideas I’ve been running past a graphic artist. I’ll put those out there when they get closer to some kind of finalization. In the meantime, I’m eager for suggestions.

If you want to take a look at the cover as it is now, click on the link in the first paragraph.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

'TIS THE SEASON



I love this day! – The Winter Solstice. From now on more sunlight, more cheer.

I love this holiday season too. I have been blessed with a Santa Claus Christmas since my childhood. I know that’s a blessing I don’t share with everyone, a fact which makes me sad. But the music and the memories make me glad as well, along with deep gratitude to my family. I especially love the fact that MPR’s classical station plays so much more choral music during this period.

I love realizing that I’ve made it through another year with good health. If all goes as planned I’ll enjoy another healthy Christmas with my family in a few days.

It’s the Holiday, really. I wish joy for everyone, however you celebrate the coming of the sunlight.

And wouldn’t it be glorious if our thoughts of peace were to become more concrete in 2012? That’s my wish.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

FUN AT THE ADLER CAFÉ



Last evening I had a good time first enjoying a potluck feast and then with the chance to chat with Adler folks and friends on the topic of forgiveness. (I sneaked in a bit on Mrs. Job as well.) What a neat group! I understand that a common comment at the end was “It’s necessarily complex.” That it is. Lots of discussion followed my suggestion that “to forgive is to accuse.” After it was all over, one person asked whether it’s possible to forgive someone without their knowing that you have even accused them, to say nothing of forgiving them. The answer? – an unhesitating “yes.” Forgiving is basically for the forgiver.

While we were chatting after the session was over, one woman conveyed her thanks to women of my generation for the work we had done for women. It got me started – remembering when my daughter at 13 couldn’t switch from her pediatrician to a woman physician because one was not available – women were not allowed residencies at the local hospitals. Then I went on remembering – no women pharmacists, anchors on the evening news, reporters from all over-including war zones, police officers, mail carriers, military personnel, fill in the blanks. Certainly there were no women in authority on CSI (but then, I guess there was no CSI.) The point? Change happens, best observed when we look back. Back when Lou, the Italian Catholic, married me, a Swedish Lutheran, it was a mixed marriage. Today it would hardly qualify.

The lesson? We best understand what we’ve been living through when we look back at it. Sort of hopeful, I think.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

HELP OTHERS KEEP THEIR DIGNITY


           
Sometimes clients attribute their own wisdom to me. I think that was the case recently when a client told me she found it helpful that I had said it’s important to help others keep their dignity. I’d like to believe I said it. I certainly agree with it.

Some behavioral stuff that’s important in following through on that is focusing on the other and, though it sounds like an oxymoron, doing that by making no “you” statements, as in judging, but rather using “I,” as in recognizing and expressing my own feelings and opinions in a respectful way -- taking responsibility for myself. Well, there are exceptions. I love receiving a “you” statement that suggests, as she did, that I had been helpful. It’s the blaming yous or the guessing-how-you-are-feeling yous that deprive others of dignity.

OK, that’s my thought for the day. Confusing? Hmm. Maybe that’s why I need clients to translate my psychobabble into English.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

DEVASTATION IN CONNECTICUT

Thanks to my friend in Connecticut who feels fortunate to have access to power at her worksite. For those of us who aren't there, here's a sense of what it's like for those who are.



It’s now Day 6 with no heat, hot water, electricity, telephone...nothing!  This includes no gasoline at the pumps, food spoilage, and no stove for cooking. I’ve never seen such a storm (18-24” snow) such as the one we had this past weekend...actually I’ve never even seen snow in October.   What made this storm so deadly and the “perfect storm” was the combination of water-logged soil from Hurricane Irene, excessive moisture in the air, and trees fully laden with their fall leaves. Nature’s “gift” of hail; heavy, wet snow; icy roads, and (here’s another first) a thunder and lightning storm made for a truly apocalyptic night. In all my years in New England, I have never seen such horrific damage – not only did tree limbs break, but the whole tops of trees snapped off like candy canes.  Huge trees were uprooted and tossed about like matchsticks, ripping power lines from the poles, blocking roads, and destroying anything in their way.   The whole area now looks like a war zone, with everything closed.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

IN THE INTEREST OF FAIRNESS AND FULL DISCLOSURE

This is Mr. McCabe's e-mail response to my previous posting re accusations of attempts to defraud and of lying - everything from this point on is a copy of what he sent, including his highlighting. (If it is confusing, most of it through my signature is a copy of my original correspondence with him which he has quoted.)

"OK,

I’ll just post your original email:

“ -----Original Message-----
 Sent: Friday, October 28, 2011 6:39 AM
 Subject: Double order

 Identified as customer ID 5017, I have a receipt for order #9045,
 dated 10:06 am10/20/2011 for the total amount of $23.43.

 I have received notice, however, that two orders have been sent, the
 other one numbered 9044. Also, my American Express Account has been
 charged twice.

 This is a surprise gift to the addressee and, unfortunately, you've
 already shipped it. But I don't want to pay double what I planned, and
 I don't want to burden them with a trip to return it. I'll notify my
 American Express account to withhold payment on the second shipment.
 Perhaps you can send Mr. MacGregor a self addressed envelope with
 which to return the other one.

 Please get back to me on how to handle this.

 Thanks,

 Mona Gustafson Affinito”

Our response will be posted as well.  Perhaps the next time you wish to “socialize” some correspondence, you will show your friends the complete dialog."