Mona's comments on forgiving abusers

Recently I was interviewed about forgiving an abuser. Click on this link if you would like to see the result.

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/7994389/tips_for_forgiving_an_abusive_spouse.html?cat=5

Well, this is different!

Vanity and Mrs. Job. That's what this is all about. But then, I do believe we need a light touch every once in a while.

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?created&&note_id=10150254740335041&id=150195330040#!/notes/skin-authority/our-royal-face-of-the-week-mona-affinito/10150254740335041

What I told the TV about forgiveness

            I was energetically talking to the TV as I watched an episode of “Forgiveness: A Time to Love and a Time to Hate” which was presented recently on PBS. (In fact, I just ordered a copy of the DVD for my library.) It’s really well done, with its emphasis on the complexity of the issue.

            So what was my frustrated ranting? “Look at my ‘When to Forgive,’ I shouted,” It’s based exactly on that complexity, which is why it’s not called something like “The Miracle of Forgiveness” which the publishers wanted originally. The point is to recognize the reader’s specific situation and the possibilities available for an appropriate and moral response.

            My frustration?  “When to Forgive” isn’t in the hands of so many people who could be helped. The same goes for my “Forgiving One Page at a Time.” Want to know more? This link will take you there.

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=Mona+gustafson+Affinito&rh=n%3A283155%2Ck%3AMona+gustafson+Affinito&ajr=3

The More Things Change; The More They Stay the Same

            I’d be old-fashioned in the classroom now. Oh, I did innovate. In my last course I used weekly e-mail exchanges to receive and give instant feedback on brief papers. In the 60s, I contributed to a TV course where we lectured on screen and evaluated progress with traditional methods.

            But recently I heard of a web course based on two principles: Socratic method and Games theory -  as in games like World of Warcraft.

            In the 60s, our team entertained classes of 125 students with an assortment of slides and movies displayed on the big screen as we lectured in the traditional way – early version of powerpoint?

            Then there’s SCSU itself. We had no glossy magazine like the college produces now, or “Southern Life,” the campus newspaper, which inspired me to write this.

            What caught my eye was research Bill Sherman (psych department) did with Michelle Vancour (public health) extending her doctoral study of academic moms to the study of men in academia.

            Now here’s where things stay the same. “These men ‘don’t feel the same level of guilt about going to work as moms do.” A father might say, ‘I don’t like to travel because I miss my kids,’ rather than feeling guilty about leaving them, as mom’s do”

            “One key difference in how the men and women in their studies view work/family balance. Dads compartmentalize, saying ‘This is what I’ll do and this is when I’ll do it’ whereas moms try to find bits and pieces of time to fit everything in. ‘Women don’t just turn off one thing and do another,… they multitask.’”

            Guilt and multitasking. Been there; done that. Still trying to train myself to compartmentalize.