Of course, I can't leave Mrs. Job behind. Right now (for a price) someone at iUniverse is examining her carefully to be sure she conforms to Chicago style. Next (for a fee) someone else will proofread her. I don't know how long it will take before I get feedback on that. Something in me -- perfectionism? the need to be right? -- had me going through her several times with a fine-toothed comb before sending her off on that next adventure. Not too bright, huh? I suppose it's like cleaning the house before the cleaning crew comes to be sure they don't find too much dirt, hoping, on the other hand, that they'll find something, so the money isn't paid out in vain. The next phase will be covers, front and back, and marketing. I've collected some really nice blurbs for that back cover. When will she be available for purchase? I don't know. Next time I'll be more knowledgeable about the process.
And why mention King Lear? Back when I was a Sophomore at Connecticut College (for Women, way back then) I got a B+ on my King Lear paper in the Shakespeare course, with the suggestion that I should become a Psychology major. I've never been sure whether that was a subtle put-down, but whatever, a psychologist I am and have been. But now, in pulling back, I've tried to act out the dream of sitting in a comfortable chair, reading for the fun of it. Of course, the first thing I do is fall asleep, but waking I have been doing some reading. I've have found that I can use Amazon.com's wish list to keep track of what I'm interested in getting to, and it does pay off for them, as in the gift certificate I got for my birthday. So, of the three I received recently, the first I opened was Paul Brians' Common Errors in English Usage. Amazingly, I didn't fall asleep. Instead, I spent an hour reading through from "a" through "d" of what is intended to be a reference book. I guess that's what happens when you've been raised in a family where dinner table conversation was about the use of language (along with some religion and a smattering of politics.) So, I'm thinking. maybe I am at heart an English major. But then I started in on Foster's How to Read Novels Like a Professor, and found myself reading only the first sentence of each paragraph. So much for being mis-directed by my Shakespeare teacher.
About Mrs. Chapman? -- My landlady when I taught at the University of Vermont and dated Lou. In fact, she was one of the three non-family members at our little wedding. Somehow I thought she would go on forever being my Vermont friend, but on October 23 she died at home at the age of 100 after a brief illness of three weeks. I miss her.
Life is a journey, and I feel a little sad about the fact that my parents will never get to see the DVD my son-in-law is putting together of photos from the 1955 trip I took with them to Sweden and Denmark, complete with reading from my mother's diary. Sometimes I wish I believed they were still watching my life here.
And the California fires? I'm happy to say that my friend in Santa Barbara escaped damage to her home, though it hit pretty close to her.
Oh yes, How is it that I have this time to retreat from the world? It turns out that one of the first places people save money when there's a downturn in the economy is on "luxuries" like visits to a psychologist. Here's where one of Lou's sayings comes into play. "Turn a Defeat into a Victory." And so, I'll enjoy this down time before the holidays arrive.
1 comment:
The last part of the original posting sent me on a week-long self-talk. Paradoxically, at the time when it might be most useful and needed, when economy turns down, psychotherapy does become a luxury... or is presented as a luxury.
A 95 year old great-uncle keeps asking me what I am doing for living. "I talk to people, I do it a lot", - I usually say. "But, well, you are such a hard worker, and if you talk to people that much, when are you working?" - he tries to get to the root of what he feels to be an eternal incongruence of my existence. "This is how I work,"- I reply patiently, knowing that the very same question will be asked again in few months. My great-uncle came from a time and a place where even remotely luxurious items or activities did not exist in people's lives. In his mind (and, perhaps, in minds of so many of his and - now - our generation), it is all right to talk to people, as long as this is not called "work", is not done instead of or at the time when people are supposed to work.
Why am I writing about this?
Because this is my biggest fear... As the economy might keep going down, and we might keep cutting on "unnecessary" budget items, what if we stop talking? First, because it is expensive... Then, because it is dangerous... Then, because we don't know how to do it anymore... Finally - "Psychotherapy? That must be from old times and entirely useless!"
Sounds delusional? I have been there. And this is why I finally decided to post on this blog - after reading everything from the very beginning of it.
I know psychology is a pretty luxurious item these days, but can we afford not to talk?
Marina B.
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