I'm excited about "Mrs. Job"

OK, I'm claiming bragging rights, but I'm flying high about the publisher's evaluation of Mrs. Job: "This is a wonderful and unique presentation that should find a strong audience.  This reviewer has never seen a work based on the perspective of Job's wife despite the myriad of studies completed on the life of Job. The way the author portrays her and Job in relation to her is fascinating and engaging." Oh, and there's more: "It's easy to feel an emotional connection to Dara and to Job; the author's professed love for both characters is evident and readers will share that feeling.  Overall the characters are wonderfully crafted and believable."

Please forgive me while I preen. (or is that reserved only for male birds.)

And speaking of forgiveness, I just got word of good stuff that came of someone's reading "Forgiving One Page at a Time." Real forgiveness followed as the person described "I got it. It's really down to earth and practical, and I got it."

OK. Now back to preparing for whatever comes of November 4.

6% for the governor

I finished my purchase and the salesperson added, "and 6% for the governor." How hard would it be to speak the truth: "6% for the health, safety, and well-being of our community?" Call me naive, but I wonder where the money to repair the collapsed 35W bridge or to prevent further collapse is supposed to come from? Or the money for the police and fire vehicles I hear regularly sirening their way north or south on highway 41 visible from my kitchen window. Or support of our schools which should be the best we can offer our children. Or keeping our land free of pollution. Or solutions to the problems of homelessness and starvation.

Maybe it's because I've been around so long, but I can remember when we pulled together as a community to make life better for all of us. Did it take the horror of WWII to do that, following up on the disaster of the "great" depression? Do we have some kind of objection to peaceful progress?

'Nuff said for today.

I'm excited about "Mrs. Job"

I found a clergy person willing to read my Mrs. Job manuscript. I admit, I was excited and scared. After all, she is steeped in Biblical history. She could have nicely told me that I had strayed too far from the Biblical source, or from the reality of life in the desert, or that the writing was dull. Instead, she called to tell me that she didn't just like it; she loved it. She said more good stuff, but I don't know that it's appropriate to repeat that until she puts it in writing herself. She said she'll write a blurb for me for the back cover. 

Based on a recent e-mail, I should soon be receiving the editorial evaluation from iUniverse, the publisher. That might turn out to be a downer. Who knows? But for now I'm going to bask in the pleasure.

Thinking About the Day of my Birth

OK. I can't pass myself off as 65 any more. (As if I ever could once I passed 66) But I feel an intense need to be open about my birthday coming up on October 28. Among other things, I find myself thinking a lot about my mother as an intensely pregnant woman anxious to get me out into the world. My big sister points out that Mother was carrying me in an optimistic time. The family's new home in Forestville, Connecticut, was being completed and would be ready to occupy a month after my birth. The headlines in the New York Herald Tribune were: "Briand Takes Post As Socialists Join Radical in Cabinet. (That was referring to French politics); "Connecticut Tariff Lobby Called Greedy;" "Scientist Checks Cancer Cells After Growth in Living Tissues;" "Coudert Puts 337 Murders Up to Banton: 190 Slayings Last Year Without Penalty in Manhattan Alone, Says opponent of Justice Grain;" "LaGuardia Trend Spurs Republican Final-Week Drive." Oh, and by the way, a lesser headline was, "Mussolini Calls Fascism Perfect at Celebration."

The next day, October 29, 1929, the major headline was "Stocks Decline Heavily, Erasing All Year's Gains; Buying Near, Say Banks." And then the sub-headlines, "Market Support Ready, Bankers' Meeting Hears," and under that, "Heavy Purchasing by Investment Trusts Expected to Stabilize Stock Values Is View of Spokesman After Session in Morgan Office."

Been there? Done that? It's feeling almost spooky.

Friends and the Bright Shadow

I have just had such a wonderful conversation with my friend Edie Crawford in Connecticut that my thoughts are tumbling all over themselves. Edie is the kind of friend who looks at her phone ID and answers with a hearty "Mona , my dear." Now mind you, it's been two or three years since we last talked, but it might have been yesterday. I called with a question about the Shadow as it relates to the current election process, and ended up with wonderful insights into therapy, and just plain living. Edie is my Jungian guru, but she says she's moved on to an appreciation of Behavior Therapy. 

Here's the wonderful new emphasis she shared -- the "Bright Shadow." I love it, because it legitimizes my focus on reaching for the positive in every client. The Shadow, if you've forgotten, is that unconscious collection of stuff we don't want to admit into consciousness. Traditionally we tend to think of it as evil or, for some, the metaphorical devil. The typical therapy of the past, Edie points out, has tended to strengthen that negative side as people are encouraged to keep reaching for and talking about what has gone wrong in their lives, so often developing the witch side of mothers, and/or the negativity of fathers.

But, she suggests, for many, if not most, of us, what we've submerged is our positive side -- the positive Shadow -- the "Bright Shadow." (I can't help being aware specifically of my own Swedish Lutheran background which discourages "bragging about" the good in ourselves and encourages the admission of sin.) Traditional therapy has not only discouraged the emergence of the "Bright Shadow," but has actually empowered the forces that repress it. Here's where appreciation of the behaviorist approach comes in. What we've been doing is building up the part of the brain that supports the negative view of ourselves and our lives. To put it differently, we've been encouraged to conserve and strengthen our old fashioned brain waves. The key then, becomes helping to remove the blockages that prevent seeing our positives. Edie says she has become very straightforward about that. Just realize when you start going over what you regret doing, or the pain that's been inflicted by others, that you are strengthening a part of yourself that you'd do better to weaken. 

Edie pointed out the connection of the "Bright Shadow" to my forgiveness work. Especially when it comes to self-forgiveness, be aware that on the other side of regret is its opposite, optimistic hope. That seems to me to be a key, just to know that the opposite of regret is there for you to draw on, and you'll make the job easier by making the effort to stop rehearsing the negative. Edie and I have both been through divorce, so she referred to the tendency which we shared, at one point, to suddenly think, as we went through our day, "What did I do wrong that I didn't save the marriage?" or the tendency as parents to think "What damage did I cause my children with the way I parented them?" Stop and take yourself to the positive side -- the good times, the good things you tried, the good efforts you made.

OK. Just a sampler. We can certainly do this as we look at other people who distress and annoy us -- maybe especially during this pre-election time. What is the good side? ( Polyanna? I never did understand why people were so opposed to her. )

Mts. Job is on her way to iUniverse

It was a little like the last Presidential election, just when I thought maybe "Dara" was the winning title, more votes came in for "Mrs. Job." It was interesting to watch the passion behind the choices. I think "Mrs. Job" evoked slightly more excitement.  I hope that works out once she is the title of a book.

Now I've filled out most of the questions on line and submitted the manuscript. I'm still working on the descriptive blurb for the back page. Here's my first attempt. Any preferences? And by the way, a friend yesterday had trouble getting a comment in here, so, if you have an opinion, maybe you could e-mail me at forgivenessoptions@earthlink.net.

She was part of Job's joy and wealth, and in one day suffered with him the total loss of property and family.  They were her ten children and it was her way of life as well as Job's, but her loss was either overlooked or, worse yet, attributed to her transgression.  In this story, she is rescued as her life, friendship, love, conflict, agony, and ultimate victory play out. One editor "found it truly enjoyable, well-written, and thought it strikes a great balance between being a love story (...Job, God)... and statement of faith."

Where have I been? and Mrs. Job or Dara?

Sometimes I wonder what I've been doing with my time. I know I went to a delightful brunch in a friend's home last Tuesday and a fun and tasty meeting with a church circle on Wednesday. But what have I accomplished?  I sometimes wonder if that's a family curse, that "you must accomplish" idea. But really, I do wish I could just tick off some projects as completed. 

Take the book of Mrs. Job, for example. With the help of wonderful friends and family I've finally got the title narrowed down. Here's the choice, "Dara," (That's Mrs. Job's name in my story) or "Mrs. Job." .. no colons with additional information after them. I would really appreciate your vote on this.

And then there's the matter of forgiveness. I've been working up a one-day workshop scheduled for October 4 at Shepherd of the Hill Presbyterian church, but now there's the question whether there will be a large enough group that day, and should we postpone it to a time when more can come? (We chose October 4 because it was the closest Saturday to Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement.) Go to the link for Shepherd of the Hill church (to your right)  and click on "education;" then go to "A Day of Atonement-Reconciliation." Or should I do a small group on the 4th if that's what shows up and do a larger one later... ? A couple of small groups have reviewed the forgiveness DVD I plan to use, and each time I learn more about people's thoughts on the matter and how I might present it better.

Oh, and there's Restorative Justice, a twin sibling of forgiveness. I recently did a presentation on that topic at the Adler Graduate School, learning a lot, of course, about how I might do it better. And it's good if I get better at it, because I'll be presenting a program on Restorative Justice on Tuesday, October 14, as part of the Dialogues series at Shepherd of the Hill. I need to get busy helping to make that fact known. Go to the Shepherd of the Hill Link and click on "Dialogues."

My biggest project -- that is, the one I promised myself I'd finish by the end of the day today, is to get the Mrs. Job (or Dara) manuscript off to iUniverse and get the ball rolling.  Before I could do that, I had to finish a bio, which they require, and an appreciations page which I wanted and needed to do, considering all the wonderful people who have helped me.

OK. That's enough chatting. Now I'll get down to business.