Thursday, July 7, 2011

REMEMBERING HALLIE

These days my mother tends to look back at me from the mirror, but even more frequently it’s Hallie -- her quizzical smile. I hear her voice often too, usually when I make a stupid mistake or express a thought she doesn’t approve of. “Oh, Mona …” in her distinctive voice. How fortunate Hallie and I both were to live well into our adulthood in the houses we had known from our births. Back yards adjoining, we played, fought, shaped each other.

Today is the anniversary of Hallie’s birth, but she’s not here to celebrate it herself. She’s been gone since 2002. My daughter and I arrived at her home in Cape Cod right after she’d sat with her family for her last breakfast – a glass of prune juice – and asked when I’d be there. Back in the Hospice-provided bed, she energized herself into a hearty Hallie laugh when I recalled out loud some of the adventures we had shared. Then she was gone. Her body carried on until 2:00 a.m. the next morning.

Hallie grew up in a house filled with cigarette smoke. Her mother declared that she smoked because it was good for her asthma, a belief she had good reason for holding. See Tye, Larry. (1998). The father of spin: Edward L. Bernays and the Birth of Public Relations. New York: Henry Holt and Company, for the tale of how Bernays sold physicians and dentists on testifying in print to smoking's medicinal value. Hallie began smoking when she was 13.

Somewhere in the late 1980s she sought help in hypnosis which worked beautifully. She never again longed for a cigarette. But it was too late. When she died, the doctor declared amazement that she had survived so long with her lungs so badly damaged.

So, Hallie, today I'm celebrating the fact that you are still looking back at me, critiquing my behavior.














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