It really is a matter of knowing what you can change

last night I went to bed relieved that I had solved blogger and link problems -- all with the help of my friends. "I'll really sleep tonight, I thought, now that I have that problem under control." And then I watched disturbing news on TV and lost all hope of falling asleep quickly. Usually I spend the hour before sleep time watching some CSI program or other. That's relaxing, 'cause I know it's all fiction, and it will be solved in the end. But real horrendous news, like the treatment of women in Afghanistan, is terribly stressful for an empath (that's what my son calls me) like me. 

This morning, I thought, "AHA!  That's it... a matter of control. The only person I can change is me. I can't change the Afghanistan situation -- not just before going to sleep, anyway. But I can restore my habit of watching fiction (or no TV at all) at bedtime."

And then I thought of the forgiveness of the Amish after the slaughter in their schoolhouse. That's it. There's nothing they could do to bring their children back, but they could control what they did themselves, acts of welcome and empathy to the family of the killer, acts that strengthened their own belief in themselves and their faith. How far that is from the desire for vengeance that nature often drives us to -- an act which either makes our own problems tougher, or gets us in personal trouble with the law, or leaves us frustrated because we really can't do anything about it, or escalates into destructive war of one kind or another. 

Knowing oneself and being in control of the behaviors that follow really is the essence of good health and forgiveness.